The Replacement

by Brenna Yovanoff

I barely finished this book, and now that I have I wish I hadn't wasted my time.

The Replacement is the story of Mackie Doyle - a 16-year old changeling boy. Mackie's parents and mostly his sister have done their best to love and care for Mackie, but his allergies to iron, steel, blood and consecrated ground are making it harder and harder for him to live in the human world. However, the world that Mackie came from is not a place he's dying to go back too. The Houses and Mayhem and Misery lie beneath the ground, under the slag heap and the dump hill. They are filled with creeping, mysterious dead and undead creatures. Mackie is content to avoid the world beneath the ground until he finds he needs their potions to keep him living. Then Tate's sister dies, and Tate isn't so sure the girl they buried was really her sister. Mackie finds himself attracted to Tate, which makes it harder and harder for him to deny to her that she's right, and he knows where her real sister is - he just doesn't think they can get her back.

It sounds so promising! Even when I describe the plot here I can't help but thinking, "Oh, that sounds cool!" Alas, the fabulous plot idea suffers from a few flaws:

One. The first half of the book drags. The author is intentionally vague about characters, history, origins, even what exactly Mackie is. Sure he's a changeling, but there are many types of changeling in folklore. Is he a faerie? A troll? An elf? A demon? Some new type of thing you just made up? It is NEVER explained. That bugs me. I read through the first half of the book feeling like I'd missed a chapter. I didn't know what was going on, who exactly people were, what they thought of each other, why they were doing things, etc. It felt like it does when you watch a TV show for the first time in the middle of the 3rd season. Lost and confused. You need a friend with you who knows the show to fill in the gaps for you. In the case of the book I needed the author to do that for me, but she didn't.

Two. Are these kids really supposed to be high schoolers? There is so much drinking going on with no apparent concern for being caught. Never mind the fact that the characters stay out all night and nothing comes of it. Where the heck are the parents? Wouldn't they be concerned? I've encountered this in other books, but it's often is explained away with and over-busy parent, or a poor (as in bad, not penniless) parent or something. But in this book Mackie's dad is supposed to be a pastor - shouldn't he be showing more concern?

Three: I just didn't understand the characters. Is Mackie popular or a freak? At one point he's freak, but then all these girls like him, so...? The twins were very flat and just seemed to be there to fill space. Alice was there one minute kissing Mackie and then she never comes into play again. Roswell was a nice guy, but if he's so close to Mackie, wouldn't you think he'd be more curious about what Mackie is? He seems to be aware of his oddities, but never questions. Maybe that's just supposed to make him a good friend who doesn't question, but I think it makes him seem too timid. Tate - one minute she's super mean girl, the next she's flirting with Mackie. I don't think I really understood any of them, and therefore I didn't really care that much about them.

Even though the ending was hastily and almost too-tidily wrapped up, I really didn't care anymore. I was just glad it was over.

Eyes Like Stars

by Lisa Mantchev

I just couldn't get into this book. The characters are bizarre, and at not very likable. The setting is vague and the background information is non-existent. I didn't even finish it. I didn't even get halfway - which I almost never do. I think a book deserves to be read to it's end, and I can honestly only remember two books in the recent past that I have not finished. However, despite a week with many opportunities to read, I have always found other things to do. So I'm giving it up for now. Maybe someday I'll come back to it.

The Time Traveler's Wife

by Audrey Niffenegger

Yuck yuck yuck! I hated this book! Despite the fact that I still think the premise is quite interesting - the book was just terrible!

I would actually like to see what a different author would do with the idea of a man involuntarily traveling back and forth in time - meeting with his younger self, his wife's younger self, his older child, etc. Preferably an author without such a fondness for all manner of curse words. Page after page after page just littered with profanity - it didn't come across as "realistic" - it reads more like the author was trying to shock us. It makes the author and the characters seem crude and uneducated. In high school one of my teachers informed the class on the first day of school that there would be no cursing in his classroom. He then directed our attention to the quote displayed in the room: "Profanity is a weak mind trying to express itself forcefully." I couldn't help but think of that quote time and time again while reading this book. Really author, are those the only words you know? Because I know some words that you could have used instead that wouldn't make you sound like a jerk trying to impress us with your "tough" language. A few profanities in a book, I can look over, realize that some people do talk that way and let it go, but in this book it was just excessive.

Secondly, and in addition to the profanities, there were many scenes in the book that were intensely suggestive, crude and explicit. I found myself flipping through pages just to find where it ended and it was safe to read again. Henry's and Clare's love wasn't believable at times. Why do they love each other? - the author doesn't really tell us, except that Henry's all Clare's ever known and they have sex a lot. Henry as a 30- and 40-something adult time travels back to when Clare is a child. He meets her, tells her about his time travelling, asks her to keep it a secret, etc. I found the whole exchange to be creepy. In his time he's married to Clare, and sometimes when he's visiting with teenage Clare he has a hard time thinking of her as a child. Ew!

Thirdly, Henry and Clare aren't even that likable. Henry's a cad and an alcoholic. He's selfish, he thinks only of himself. Clare just acts like a martyr. She does nothing but wait for Henry. She takes advantage of her friend's trust. The don't read as real, and I didn't really care what happened to them because I didn't like them. I like to feel like I could be friends with the characters in the books I read, if they actually existed in real life. If I were to meet a real life Henry and Clare I'd try to stay as far away as possible!

And lastly (yes, I have one more thing to complain about!), throughout the whole book the author litters the text with references to obscure authors and artists as if to impress the reader with her great knowledge. Often we are forced to read through sentences, paragraphs of text in French or German. Almost none of these sections are translated. If they aren't important enough to the story to need to be translated, then why include them at all? Again, it gave me the distinct impression that the author was talking down to me, the reader. Pretty much guarantees that I will never read a book by her again.

So to summarize, I thought this book was a tasteless, crude adaptation of what could have been an interesting story. I can't think of anyone I'd recommend it to - in fact, I'd be more likely to warn people not to read it. Yuck. I'm so excited to read something else!

Confessions of a Shopaholic

by Sophie Kinsella

I went to see the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic and loved it so much that I decided I needed to read the book. The movie was funny and sweet so I had high hopes for the novel that inspired it. After all, the book is nearly always better than the movie!

Wrong.

I hated this book! In fact, I didn't even finish it. I hardly ever abandon a book. Only once before have I not finished a book that I chose to read. But I just could not stand this one any more.

In the movie, the main character Rebecca is funny. She just can't seem to help herself when it comes to buying things. But despite this you feel bad for her. She's endearing despite her often silly ideas.

The the book Rebecca is mean. She buys way to much and it's just annoying. She curses, and mocks people and is deceitful.

The movie was hilarious, sweet and innocent.

The book was cringe-worth, obnoxious and kind of dirty.

I read 5 chapters and decided that was enough for me.

I'll stick to the movie this time around.

The Other Book

by Philip Womack

Usually I can read a book while my roommate is in the room talking on the phone, with the tv on and my ipod in my ears and I won't notice any of it because I get so absorbed in what I'm reading. A really good book pulls you out of all your surroundings and says, "Hey! Pay attention to me!". Some of all my all-time beloved books fall into this category: Harry Potter, the Twilight series, Fablehaven, The Hunger Games etc. However, occasionally a wonderful book will require more concentration. It's not a bad thing, it just that some books need every ounce of thought focused of them because what they're about to say is so complex or the book in general is less flashy. Some of my favorite books were this way also, including: 100 Cupboards and Dandelion Fire, The Belgariad, Lord of the Rings, Megan Walen Turner's series, etc.

It is not a good sign though, when a book requires your complete concentration, and even then you don't quite know what's going on. Or when you set the book down for a few hours to, say, eat or talk to people, and when you pick it back up you can't for the life of you remember what you'd read an hour ago. This is the problem I had with this book. I tried! I gave it my full attention and concentration and it gave nothing back. I was so disappointed! Not only is it pretty, but the description both on the back and the inside flap were interesting. The first chapter was dark and intriguing and I was excited to read this relatively short novel. But then everything just fell apart.

First off, I think the idea is cool. It's about a boy, Edward - hey, and I didn't even have trouble not picturing sparkly vampires whilst reading! Go me. - who goes to this boarding school. One day he comes across this mysterious book - the "Other Book" - a dark tome that begins to take over his life. He learns that it is a source of power - one that is being sought out by people who would use it for evil. Edward must protect the book, and eventually deliver it to the rightful owner.

Sounds cool huh?

That's what I thought!

But the characters are confusing. Edward falls kind of flat. His personality isn't really explored, and all he does during the entire book is run from one place to another.

Another annoying aspect to me was that the other characters were extremely unreliable. Throughout the entire book you were never sure what their true colors were. Edward would put his trust in someone new, and time after time after time that person would turn around and betray him.

Also, the origins and nature of the Other Book were not fully explored. It was as if the author hadn't really decided what the Other Book was, so just put in some vague descriptions and decided that was enough. It was not enough for me.

In short, it was a cool idea for a story, but in the end the story and characters were not fully fleshed out or explored and the whole thing ended up feeling flat, truncated and confusing.